SJW meltdown as report brands Labour newbies ‘depressed vegetarians’

A recent article by The Independent has been met with derision and laughter from ordinary people, and fits of red-faced rage from Social Justice Warriors (SJWs) after Corbyn fans were branded ‘depressed vegetarians’.

The article, prompted by YouGov research which was reported on by The Times, described the typical newbie to the swelling membership of Corbyn’s far-left Labour Party as the “middle-class Welsh man in his early twenties who works for a charity.”

The report went into further detail.

They spend a great deal of their time “on the internet where they like to watch YouTube and frequent Jeremy Corbyn’s Facebook page.”

“Their keenest political interests include the NHS, homelessness, and climate change – as well as the fear that we are being controlled by a secret elite.”

When they’re not on the internet, they like writing, engaging in Social Justice activities and are “keen on Stephen Fry, David Attenborough, and Eddie Izzard.”

However, while being vegetarian, their diets are suitably ‘diverse’ to embrace everything from dal and thali to veggie “bangers and mash”.

Their political opinions sit squarely at the extreme left of YouGov’s spectrum.

The hilarity of the article and the comical representation of the typical Labour newbie was naturally lost on online SJWs.

SJWs across the country were reportedly so triggered by the report that many were reduced to tears, couldn’t finish eating their Black Bean Quesadillas and instead retreated to the only ‘safe space’ in the village.

Having spent hours attending a collective cry-in – complete with puppies and play dough – SJWs slunk back to their computers where they promptly ordered the sacking of the journalist, hurled a barrage of leftist pejoratives and hate words at him and repeated their demands for the banning of free speech.

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